SHUGAH, Fire and Ice

I'm sitting by my window, looking at my reflection illuminated by this amber candle, and exhaling...I have a tall glass of ice cold pomegranate and pineapple juice that had been calling my name all evening.  Once again, I'm where I began...being serenaded by my site and enjoying what I hear.  When I began this journey I found "Nevaeh" in the trenches of my tears and now I lay all that is good and well to rest with a nod and a smile with "Morahvu".  Mutzi't

My performance was beautiful and all I can say is that it is well...The more I recite my poetry the deeper I feel the words that I've written. The mind doesn't let you forget, even if you try, but when nice clouds come and take the rain away, why would you want to forget them. Today's performance was different, because it was the first time that I'd recited some of the pieces from my new book, and the passion that poured out of my heart today, gave not only those listening goose bumps, but I still have tears in my eyes...Tonight, was raw and innoccent, pure and real...and comfort opened its arms wide open and called me by name and  I went and I just began speaking what was on my heart and mind..."Let it flow, it's okay" the spirit said and that's exactly what I did. 

I must thank the bass player, drummer and pianist, for a job well done, you guys really blessed me tonight and it was alright with me.  Many blessings upon you and your families. 

DONE

Finishing SHUGAH; Love's Dew (my first book) was a blessing, since it has taken me over two years to release it.  Many of you who have followed my work over the years, know that SHUGAH was the 2nd poem that graced the pages of  "Conversations with PHAMLI".  I tell you in the middle of the night, the piece poured out of my spirit like warm water from the springs of life in the middle of June. I can honestly say, that after experiencing life, it is one of the most prophetic pieces that I've written to date.

There was no editing or changing anything in that poem, it was raw and I delighted in every single word that was written.  I had so many comments on the piece, once I made it public, that it had taken me a couple of days to get through them all.  The responses were warm and positive, and confirmed the energy that the creator blessed me with to write it.  I was so proud of that piece, because of how powerful and beautiful it was. It spoke to my heart's desires, it ministered to hidden pain, it handed me a promise of beauty that little girls dream of, and it expressed an undeniably unconditional and lasting love, that many never have the opportunity to experience and discover in this lifetime.  Yes it was all of that and a bag of celery ;).

 

A Sweet Read

When I went back to read it, I noticed that it encompassed a message, request and statement that one could only understand and receive if they truly desired to feel the fullness of good love.  As I created a platform for my expressions, my readership and interests grew.  I noticed that I was writing more and more about Love, Romance and Building & Maintaining Healthy Relationships.  I covered every topic that my wisdom would allow, Like: "Making Love after War", "Finding Flames in the Freezer", "Elbow Grease - the art of working through the Storm", "The Boo Theory - the true 80/20 rule" "How to keep what you know you'll always miss".  These topics eventually opened up avenues for fruitful discussions and conversations. 

Once I started writing SHUGAH; Love's Dew the book, there was no stopping me...I had already completed "Lovgistics: The RelationSHIP Series 1-25", released on "Conversations with PHAMLI, that received love and support from so many.  I finally sent SHUGAH to print in 2009 and once I received it back, things just weren't what I wanted them to be. As I looked at what I had written, the book still screamed, "Not Finished - Yet!"  At the time the dissatisfaction of the printing, coupled with the feeling of incompleteness led me to place SHUGAH to rest until God said that it was time to pick it up and move forward with it.

aiza'obid

Although I placed my book on the back burner, I still decided to move forward with the production and recording of SHUGAH and added it to my first CD "Pieces of a Dream", which to this day, continues to bless me each and every time I hear it.   The more that I grew as a woman and the more that God began to reveal to me about love, the more attention I paid to what I wrote, spoke and how I conducted myself within my own life.  I began to ask the father for specific blessings and the more I prayed and left those requests at the altar, the more I began to work on myself on the inside.  I've been asked a thousand times, "Ms McIntosh, what's your secret to a good relationship or how do you make it work when it's not working or how do you stay happy?" amongst many other questions that I've attempted to answer in my blog entries. 

I've never stated that I had the perfect pieces to the puzzle or knew all of the right answers, but what I do have is hope, and I believe that anything worth having if its your desire to having something long term, it's worth the occasional tears, Tuesday sweats and a drop of blood every now and then, if the pros have it.  Indeed

That would be...Ever After...

There does come a point in your life when everything comes together and some things begin to make sense as they start to take form and take their place..It wasn't until 2010 that I decided to open my eyes a little wider, put my hands down while taking the boxing gloves off, adjust my ears to stop translating beauty into ashes, sit still, elevate my feet, start making lemonade, rest my eyes, smile without covering my face and exhale.

Hummm, it's interesting the things that will grow you into who you desire to become.  This year I grew even closer to God than I ever have been in my entire life. Now it's true, that I've been in ministry and I've done this and that, but I came to know His Agape Love in a new and different way.  I was forced to look at each and every decision as a life changing one, nothing that would be just to fill the moments or something to do in the meantime. 

As stubborn as I can be, Yahminah, learned several lessons of her own in self discipline, time, love and yes patience.  I've never been more humbled in my life, and surely have never been so surprised about the things that can happen when you least expect them.  My grandmother Valentine always used to say, "If you still can sit on the porch and rock drinking your lemonade, while waving at the people in the lane, after the storm has beat upon the tin roof  keeping you up all night, then you know you'll be around to see the sun shine again."  She was always a hoot and would have me scratching my head with some of the things that she would say, but they all make sense now! Gracia's grandma, te echo de menos, descanse en paz!

Indeed                                                     After embracing the Sweet Epiphany this year, I  picked up SHUGAH, read through it and was led to rewrite the whole book.  So within this year, I was blessed with what I needed to finally finsish and complete the Love's Dew that would ultimately satisfy my heart and soul.  I was intentional about every short story that revealed another piece of me, every poem that my heart would have the strength enough to paint and every quote that I have found to be most truthful and helpful. This book is a literal lyrical documentary that bowed from the stages of my heart.  From the Diatu'li Menai't (the Book's Dedication) to the piece titled "My Promise" my true promise, I prayed long and hard and asked the Lord to preserve my words and keep them pure and meaningful that they may be echoed throughout my love's history...Although that statement may seem deep to some, but because I am understanding Love more and more each day, I realize how important the words that we speak and the things that we do are.

Our transparencies and ability to be vulnerable keeps us human, while our coping mechanisms can keep us sane.  Expression is the healthiest form of breathing for me, because once you know and understand God's love and love yourself, you can truly and fully share that with someone else.

                                                         My Dearest PHAMLI,

 My earnest desire is that each and every one of you will have the opportunity to read SHUGAH; Love's Dew, which is the first of a series of books.  I want you to tear into the pages of this work, and find something beautiful out of the many pieces that speaks to you and if you have someone special in your life, dedicate it to them, or read the pieces together even.  It's not only a good read, but it's a book that was truly written for a good and clean heart.  There is no pain in SHUGAH, No hatred, No heartache, there is only a genuine and sincere account of how I experience, esxperienced and see love.  So for many who have asked me questions about my life, the book should answer some of those questions for you. Wink. 

To my PHAMLI couples: May you be blessed individually and collectively, take time to pray together and for one another, may you find peace and enjoyment in one another all the days of  your life.  May you live "The Promise", stroll through your journey together with "Happi Pheet", become "Sojourners", Have "Good and Sweet nights", Experience "Zoe" and keep loving one another unconditionally. Indeed

Your attention is a gift. Thank you for supporting me and my work.  To order your copy of SHUGAH; Love's Dew go to http://www.yahminahmcintosh.com/

and to be added to our email list, to be notified of upcoming signings and events email us at wearephamli@yahoo.com 

Until Next Time

Be Well

Belazadu'm

Yahminah McIntosh



The 7th Hour

It was the 6th Hours and life was changing for her. Good Love was just as much apart of her, as her own breath that she would hold at will. "The chime of Life's alarm clock, will wake your soul!"  They all began cheering her on, her sisters NolaEsther and ToscaRuth along with many of which she had touched in some way.  Some were smiling and clapping, others had tears of joy in their eyes, because it was finally her time and others were dancing and waving their hands in the air.  Some even whispered to each other, "She won't make it and it won't happen.", but all she heard was "Bless You" and all she knew, was that her legs were strong enough to take her there...Wherever there was...  She was excited and relieved to be ready to go and happy to finally be on her way.  She was skipping that day, as happy as she could be!  She wanted to prove them all wrong and had been dodging verbal eggs and tomatoes for quite sometime and was ready to finally have eyes clear enough to see the waves in the rays of the sun, bounce off of the rays in the ocean.  She didn't mind the traveling, nor did she mind the hot and cold of it all, but as long as she could rest on the east, she would be alright.

With anticipation she walked forward facing the sunrise and found solace in her reflections...As she wiped her tears away and looked at her compass, she recalled that her seasons had been a long hard and bumpy one, filled with tenebrous tunnels that led to turbulent seas that she didn't have the faith to part, love that seemed to be created and molded from her very rib, death that rode on the heels of her second hand shoes, that were given to her by her mentors and silent trails that were paved with honor that she didn't feel she was worthy enough to reach. There is a lot that she remembered, that would become the lyrics to the songs that she began singing as she continued traveling. The longer she walked, the more she looked for some type of sign that she was getting closer to the ship that would carry her to her destination, but all she could hear is the last call for passengers and the horn that drowned out her anxieties, but no ship was in sight. 

She stood tall and strong, carrying the weight of her own personal victories and pain in her bosom without closure.  She was dressed beautifully as if her garments were woven by poetic angels that were competing for God's favor to be expressed upon the words that they wrote. Her hair now shorter and wavey with copper tones, lacking the length that once held her captive, because of its soul tying energies, she moved quietly amongst the field of sleeping soldiers that she would one day lead.  Armed with her list of dreams, goals and aspirations and dragging her bag of lemons, she stopped alongside a train that had stopped at the end of its tracks in the middle of the sand, facing the wind.  As she began walking on, she heard the sound of violins coming from the train and turned around and stood still, looking through its windows to see who was playing...

Since the sun was now beginning to set again, and her arms were tired, she decided to climb aboard the train and found a comfortable seat on the right side next to the window. When she sat down, she exhaled and exhaled again...And when she looked out of the window, she noticed that most of her lemons were sitting in the sand, exactly where she left them before boarding.  She never meant to stay on the train, but just wanted to see where the beautiful music was coming from.  Everyone knows that she never let her lemons out of her site, and they so enjoyed her special lemonade that she made on Friday nights that was sweetened with her unique 'Luck of Joi Root", Life's sweetener that she discovered while on her knees, recovering from the trials of life.

As she looked around, she found an envelope with her name on it, that said, "You are a light, God Bless and may all good things be unto you."  Puzzled to say the least, she motioned to get up, but fate's seat belt kept her motionless and stable, and after being pulled back in that comfort, she was unwilling to try to fight and stand again.  She noticed that the train began to move, but in the opposite direction of where she was going.  Lord knows what she had to go through in order to try to get close enough to the ship, so that she could finally sail...God only knew, how many mountains that she had to climb, with the weight of the world and those lemons on her back.  How could it be that as far as she traveled and what she had done, that it was all for sport?  She felt as if her wounds were green with no memory of how she got them, and her hope of her destination was a figment of her imagination.  Was she dreaming?  "The chime of Life's alarm clock, will wake your soul!" she heard and she yelled out, "Where am I going, now?", and the violins welcomed a harp and guitar that calmed the turmoil in her spirit and she sat down and became very quiet.  Love was still all around her and it was like her spirit put on boxing gloves and began to fight through it, and laid them down in victory on the lap of her being...Not another word was said. Not another punch thrown, she was just silent...In the wind she heard the under tunes of an old song, "At Last"... 

Was she dreaming? How would she ever get back as close as she was, to finally getting there?  As she looked out of the windows, she noticed a change in scenery and mood, and she knew that she was headed to an unfamiliar place.  With her mind boggled with a million questions and unable to rest, she decided to close her eyes to rest for a while, from all of the traveling she had been doing, during the transitions of the seasons.  Her Winters became Springs, without notice and her Summers dashed into Autumn, before she could fully stand up again and she was made still.  As she began to dream, she felt the hands of God holding her tightly and saw pictures of  beautiful places that she had never seen before. This time peace found her and all of her sadness began to leave her slowly through the comfort of blurred moments.  When she finally woke up, her eyes weren't ready to open, so she moved about cautiously without anything that she was used to having or help to survive...From wall to wall she made her way to and fro, nourishing her mind and body with spiritual pieces that would later restore her.  Not being able to hear the voice, that echoed from what she thought was destiny and had raised her many times before, she stayed buried underneath blankets and quilts, rinsing often from the libation of hope. 

Even with offered plates, placed on her night stand from pity parties that interrupted her space, she remained empty and without substance. As time went on, she learned to appreciate the sound of her own beating heart and the epistle that strength and courage helped her to complete. She hadn't spoken ten words in 4 days and her mind was in a complete state of healing and seeking restoration.   As the train began to slow down, she could feel her spirit opening up and the smell of fresh squeezed lemons filled the air. She could feel color all around her and the thought of feeling good, began to dance around her.  With her eyes still closed and no map or directions given to her, she was afraid for a moment to open her eyes and she began to pray.  As she prayed, the song of miracles filled her heart and she had made peace with wherever she was taken.  She had nothing with her, no baggage, no pain, no ugliness, no complaints, just beauty that poured from the light of her eyes, that she never saw, when they were open...As the train stopped, a pure sense of "It's Your Time", filled her personal space and her weakened knees became strong again...and she felt paint brushes and paint on the seat next to her.  Like times before, she felt no certainty or promise but Life and Purpose...As the alarm clock rang, she took a deep breath and opened her eyes...And when she opened eyes, she saw A Rainbow Restored, Dead Flowers Blooming, Perfection floating amidst Tuesday's Clouds and the Old Her buried far beneath rocks in sight.  Her heart full, her mind clear and her life...Her life...My Life became a canvas...

Well Alright!

It's 4:44 A.M., I'm up and can't sleep...I'm grooving to Marvin Gaye's, "Got to Give it Up"!  I'm excited about something, but don't quite know what it is yet.  And for all of those that know me, who say, "Yahminah, you're always happy about something!", PHAMLI this is different.  When God moves, there is nothing ordinary about His Movement, FAVOR and Placement, believe me!  It's kind of like a feeling that I've never had before, like...the day of a beautiful well planned, ceremony or something...Hummm (Mirbaile) Stay Tuned for that 1 - WINK!  Anyway, I have some good butterflies this early morning and It's All Good. Let it be Unto me!  This is nice!

Today!

Today, I feel better than I ever have, I'm happy, my mind is clear, my hearts in a good place & and I feel good about the Beauty & Promise of this New Season of my Life.  Within a multitude of deep and reflective thoughts, I've found some AHA moments and Epiphanies just a hiding behind closed doors.  I thought about where I've been and what I've done in my life prior to this moment and realized that I have been blessed to have been a pupil of Life's wonderful teaching moments and I'm graduating to a new level of progression.  Today, I've come to understand the awesome principle of stewardship on great levels, I've learned how to accept me and all that I am and have to offer in the best way that only I can and I've learned what the Power of Love in many forms can do, especially the love of self. WOW. WatchoutNAH

On the Inside

I'm changing, I'm renewing and I am being rejuvenated by the Hope of Life.    

I've been humbled, boy have I been humbled, but I'm a blessed woman for it, believe me!  I've been hurt and broken and then healed and restored. I've learned how to be silent, use wisdom, intercede and enjoy my living in seconds.  I've discovered the value in all things that I consider to be important and have found some interesting things in the petals of my own rose.  I have so much to be grateful and thankful for and I have decided to live my life thankfully...There's something new behind this smile, so GET READY!  I'm Moving forward and about, Navigating through Destiny as I am called.  I'm getting focused, planning, preparing and have found a NUJOI at my center.  My faith is stronger than it has ever been and I'm coming out...the new box that I willfully created, because as people of Light, when we change, we grow and oftentimes reach a level of comfort, in a box where we begin to dress the walls like windows. (Get that somebody!) 

Ease on Down!

I'm Skipping around the atmosphere in the Spirit, Singing, "Can You Feel a Brand New Day", from the WIZ! I'm Smiling, Clapping & Laughing and checking on the Vision, and reminding it that I have faith!  It's all good and no matter what's not, I know will be and whatever I don't have that I desire, I will have. There's no stopping me, and nothing that I will claim as a Hindrance, because right now today at this moment, right at this specific time, It's all good, and It's well with my soul.  Restoration, is that you!

Spoken Words

So, as the sun began to rise, I stood in the middle of my bedroom and looked around me and began to speak what I wanted to see and happen in my life.  So once I was done, waking everyone else in the house, lol! I took out my journal and wrote, "Where I wanted to be in 4 months:..."  The more I wrote, the more specific I became, specifying makes, models, colors, directions, sizes, levels, etc...You name it, I wrote it!  I'm so looking forward to what's about to happen in this season that I can hardly contain myself. Actually, just today, I was told that I was glowing...and you know what I AM.  

My Dearest PHAMLI,

  Although, I may not know all of you, I love you in spirit and want nothing but the best for you and your lives. I wanted to share this with you, as I know that there are many of you out there who are coming to some resolves in your life, entering new seasons, and understanding the seasons that you just came out of.  Whatever it is that you want to accomplish, see or experience in your life, begin making a list and writing the Vision for YOUR Life.  Make it plain enough to understand, so that when you refer back to it, as you grow, your journey will become even clearer.  If you feel stuck, walk to a mirror and call things that were not as though they were and say (in the spirit of the movie the 6th sense), "I see Powerful People!" I hope that you develop an allergy to Negativity and I pray that you embrace the spirit of positivity.  Learn any and everything that you can from the lessons that life has to teach you. Please Be a good steward of what the Creator Invests in you and Keep it Positive and Moving...Always.  

P.S.-Since no one is promised tomorrow, I will say that if it be the Father's will to allow me to see 2011, I guarantee that It's ON! In a good way ofcourse!

I send this positive energy to all who will receive it, may Goodness, Grace, Power and Mercy Rest Upon you!

With the Best Intentions

Belazadu'm

Yahminah McIntosh

Spiritual Pieces: PHAMLI Matters

Usually before I go to sleep, I try to set time aside to reflect on my day, write, meditate, get into prayer, rest and relax. And even though this requires quite a bit of discipline, they are definitely things that I am striving to be more consistent in doing. As I was coming out of my reflection and meditation, there was something that was placed in my spirit, and for some reason The Creator saw fit to share it with me, and it is always my intention to be a good steward of what I'm given, so I sow these thoughts and words with the best intention...


I always wondered how our ancestors and elders made it through their lives, usually ending in one piece. How they coped, picked themselves up when they fell, smiled when all they had were tears, forgave when anger ruled their lives and pitched in to raise a village even when they were tabling the raising of their own hell. There had to be a science to it, I thought, because there is no way on God's green earth, anyone could survive without some kind of contingency plan (wink!)

Now I know that it was by grace and faith, that's a given for most instances, and a lot of good old working through it, until their change came, is what they had to do. I envision them all walking to what I call the "Safe House", located in the middle of nowhere, where there was music and singing and where they could all hear something Powerful to Empower them.  Now today, we struggle to find, light at the end of tunnels, silver linings, hope and peace, and a host of other things that we need. We often times, forget our humanness, and the fact that we matter.

Now with that being said, I've come all the way from the other side of the rainbow (after a rainstorm of course), to tell you that:
If you have ever felt like your life is moving s l o w, and that you are not where you want to be
If you feel like everyone else is prospering and you are in the same exact place, each and every year with no movement or progression
If you are feeling mistreated, misunderstood, frustrated
and taken for granted, looked over and forgotten
insignificant, unattractive, like a failure
and if you are feeling over whelmed, unfocused, out of sink
and off kilter
You might be feeling like no one cares
and that you will never have any of the things in your life that you desire
You might be having a hard time getting your life in order
You might be reaching and your arms are tired
walking the right way, but the soles of your feet are burning
You might be feeling stuck, like you can't move
unable to forgive, unwilling to release
You may be hurt and unable to breathe
You name it, you could be going through it
You might be ready to throw in the towel, cover your furniture with white sheets
and throw up the deuces to life and disappear

My Dearest PHAMLI
 I just want you to know that...YOU MATTER, YOU ARE IMPORTANT, YOU ARE SOMEBODY and if no one else cares, or tells you that you do, just know that the world is a better place because you're in it. Even though today and moments before today you may have felt maybe some, one, or all of the feelings above, tomorrow is a brand new day. Don't allow how you feel to dictate, how you'll grow into the Awesome person that you were created to be, and move closer to your destiny. Be Encouraged, Lift Your Head Up, Know that it will get better, Put one foot in front of the other and continue to walk (you can even strut if you want to) Take time to reflect, go inward and work on yourself. Begin to place value on the things and people that matter in your life and discard the rest. Try to make good and healthy decisions for your life and family, seek to be a good steward of all things in your life, and listen to the atmosphere. If you are overstimulated, seek to quiet yourself, because in the end, the last song playing, will always be something that you've written and produced.


May Peace, Love and Full Blessings be yours today.
God Bless
Belazadu'm
Yahminah McIntosh

Judah's Cymphoni

Making Faces                                                                                     Today I learned so much from my son's life, that caused me to look at myself, make some changes and reflect.  I enjoyed being a mommy, today! Laughing and dancing with my son, making faces with him, hugging him, and taking pictures of him, as he posed. (He's so grown) For the first time in my life, I rolled around and played trains with him, and watched him smile as he enjoyed his mommy.  It's taken me a long time to arrive at this point, but I love what I've become as a mother.  I don't know everything, and I sure wish that he came with instructions ( I tell Ya!), but in the end, I'm glad that he didn't because, I'm learning something new everyday!  He's so intuitive and has been paying attention to me all this time, my emotions, what I go through, the things that I say and how I am feeling.  He knows my heart, and understands me. I learned how he associates the better part me that makes me whole and how he views my life.  Absolutely, life changing moments, within this day, I've had.

Judah

My son Micaiah Judah Shalom is 7 years old and is Autistic, and is one of the most amazing little people that I've ever met.  His name is like a prayer and statement of power for me, because he was a miracle child. He was born prematurely, he had a weak heart that stopped often, didn't breathe on his own and was given only days to live.  How many people reading this know, that just when you try to bury the dry bones, the instruction to speak and bring life could be on the horizon, if you're willing to listen?  Now having lost a child before, I knew that there was one thing that I could do, and that was enjoy the time that I would have with him.  So, when I looked at him yesterday, I remembered the day that I decided to step out on faith and ignore the what ifs, and probabilities of him living on machines and not having a full life, and began to speak, life over him.  

I'm not much for "nay saying or hopelessness" nor do I give too much energy to thinking about what might happen if it doesn't work or negativity, but reality does exist and it can't be ignored, but I usually try to be optimistic in all things.  When his eyes smiled at me, I nearly melted and was made happy, because his innocence is priceless.  He trusts me and knows that I will take good care of him.  I've been blessed enough and still enough to enjoy these moments with him.  He's definitely Cymphoni's (my deceased daughter) baby brother, who was sent here to give momma a little piece of love and quiet, a measure of hope and joy, and mountain moving faith.  Even though I've claimed him victorious in all things through his life, whether I'm here or not, I discovered his purpose and want nothing less than the absolute best of all things for him.  I want him to know that he's loved, enjoy and experience his family and home, and LIVE more Abundantly.

The Busy Bee                                                Anyone who knows me, knows that I was a busy busy busy bee (Lord have mercy), always moving, thinking, working, planning, etc...I really did think that I could save the world, and realized that I needed to get rid of my Jesus complex, real quick, because at the end of the day, I am still human. I never really took the time to smell the roses, but that started to change for me this year, when I discovered my own humanness. And more so today, I decided to not only start smelling them, but picking a couple and planting some new breeds, as I shake off old seeds! (that's right)

So, this was a good day, and although there was only 1 thing missing...I have no complaints, no regrets and I'm just plain old happy to be alive.  I don't have anything super deep or profound to share, but what I do have is a gift.  Today was full of very interesting moments...What I realized is that its not just what you could be praying, wishing and hoping for, but what you do with what's granted to you, and what kind of stewardship you enact to carry your part out.  And what you sow in word, thought and action in the meantime, can make all the difference in the world (I honestly believe this). 

This year has been an interesting one, filled with many lessons and experiences that are continually shaping and molding me as a person.  I've been somewhat still and have found value in some of the most peculiar pieces of myself.  I've realized that no matter how strong and tough that I am (smile), that I am still a woman first. I've noticed how quiet I've become, as I've listened to my life change and how I'm learning to pay so many things no never mind...because in the end, life is only what you make it, and when its all said and done, they really don't matter any way.   I heard a word yesterday, that has been on my mind; "Make some space and take a Leap of Faith!", now when I heard this, I had to look around and make sure that I was actually sitting and listening, instead of speaking, but boy did the message sound like it was coming from me!  I can't tell you how many times, I've been speaking to the choir, while singing lead, and calling the kettle black while making my own ginger tea~ (get that somebody).  All in all, I was at a place in my life that I could actually receive it.

The List

So, I was moved to make a list of all of the things in my life that I wanted to change, the things that I wanted to accomplish and everything that I wanted to do before I left this earth.  I had to laugh because usually people do things like this on their death beds, but I am very much alive and kicking and just putting things into a healthy perspective.  I recognize that "DOWN TIME, is just PREP TIME", while you're WORKING OUT and giving ATTENTION to the things in your life that need  a little extra care.  I've also noticed that I've been the most blessed, while learning to be more humble, even though it sometimes may seem that my train occasionally loses a signal while on the right track, or that I may miss the Creator on a thing or 2, but I'm good. 

Anyway, I'll save the rest of that thought for a later piece! In the mean time smile.

My Dearest PHAMLI,

  Today, I just wanted to write or blog..I hope something stuck out and blessed you in some way, as that is always my intention.  I send peace, positive thoughts and encouraging words your way.  Make a list, check it twice, value your life and don't take anything or anyone for granted. 

God Bless

Belazadu'm

Yahminah McIntosh

The PHAIRYTALE

The fairytale
Recently, I buried 2 friends of mine, who happened to be married. Their story is sweet unlike any other and beautifully full, but tragic. Through the piece of their life that I was made to know, I was moved by their undying support, commitment and love for one another, even when one of them was away fighting in Iraq for a long period of time. In their pain, I found joy in the fact that they were one another's comfort, and hope within their fight, I now see why they stayed still...And in their deaths I am often moved and brought to tears, because I understand how long they waited for one another, only to enjoy their lives for a brief moment in time, preparing one another for the fitting of their wings. RIP my dear friends.


A Pair of Smiles
In life there will be blessings that you prepare to receive, and other times there will be blessings that will sneak up on you and make you smile...Today, while picking up more of my “Honeycrisp” Apples, I was startled by an old friend, who placed her hands over my eyes (and anyone who knows me, knows that this is a no no-wink,especially when I’m picking fruit), and when I turned around, I saw one of my many favorite couples! They were just a smiling, and said that, I had been on their minds for quite a while.

As they were catching me up on everything that was going on in their lives, they reminded me that they would be celebrating their 1 year anniversary next week, and that they will actually be apart due to travel for work, but are planning something soon. As they were speaking, it was cute to see how, one would stop and look at the other, as a sign of respect, so that the other could finish their thoughts. I learned of the progress that they've made after finally coming together and it made my heart glad to know that they stuck in there.

To connect with them again was a blessing, because I can recall when we met, the trials that they encountered and the triumphs that they were able to experience as one. Like yesterday I can remember their wedding, their vows and the passion that poured through my spirit, from the piece that I had custom written for their special day, titled, "Real Time", Before they parted they said that one of the hardest things that they  had to do, was keep their lives fruitful, in the midst of everything that they did (work, family, church, traveling, school, projects, etc...) and that they are making every effort to make sure that they keep one another first.  I remembered that one of them is a flight attendant and the other a traveling trainer, and they said how difficult staying on point and being focused had been;  However, theyre making it work.   When they said that, one of them winked at me and mouthed, "we learned that from you".  That made me smile and I bid them farewell and continued picking my apples!

The Reason

Ironically, when I got back in my car, "Just the Two of Us" by By Bill Withers was going off, and "The Reason" by Musiq Soulchild was coming on...I was driving, smiling and jamming, because you never know how much of an impression that you can make upon some one's life.  And for me, every now and then, a spice of encouragement goes a long long way!  My conversation with them, stuck with me, and for Now those that I've either counseled or have followed my work, will all tell you the same thing, "I believe in building and working toward a healthy relationship." They will also tell you, that "I always want to talk about it, and that good communication is the key that can unlock many doors."  Now I don't profess to know everything, nor does my life and relationship reflect perfection;  However, the principles of Partnership, building, learning, understanding, encouraging, loving and uplifting your significant other, are understood. 

Chips & SHIPS
I look at all committed relationships as PartnerSHIPS, no matter if they’re marriages, engagements, etc, because there are two people involved, who are working toward the same goal, experiencing the same tribulations at the same time.  I believe that anything that you desire, and that you feel is worth having, is something that you sometimes have to pull up your sleeves, put in some work, use a little elbow grease and humble yourself as you work toward your goal of a "Healthy, Happy & Satisfying relationship. 

As my grandmother, Valentine always said, "You can always learn something new, after Sunday night, and that's a good thing!"  So each day, I aspire to open my ears, mind and heart to learn what I can so that I can become a better mate and person.  Its funny though, because it was this same couple that said in one of our conversations, that they couldn't imagine being Dr. Phil's mate, and sure as heck wouldn't know what to do if they were mine, because, if being with me was in any way like what I tell them to do, ooh wee.  LOL, hey I wouldn't know...It's a walk in the park from what I understand! :)

Ordinary People

For some reason, I began to think about the first lady and the president, who live their lives just like many of us. I always advocate for mates to treat one another significantly, acknowledge one another always and make sure that they are keeping themselves in check at all times. But hey, that would require a tremendous amount of perfection ! (Cheese)


I have always been moved by Michelle Obama and how her meritorious introductions that she would give for her Mate, Partner, Phriend, Father of her children, Companion Barack, were always well done and received with unrivaled buoyancy. Her bold possession of certainty in the trustworthiness and belief in his abilities to deliver the change that they both stand for, have been both persuasive and satisfying.

With all that Michelle has to deal with: The media, society, racism, children, a husband, America, ETC......She has to be strong, courageous, and use wisdom in every decision she makes, every cause she fights for, what she does with her children and especially how she interacts with her partner.  Remember Barack is the presidential candidate not Michelle; However, because of their connection she benefits equally, and his glory takes nothing away from her SHINE! They both succeed! They make a good team, because they both know who they are.



Love in Motion
Asperities found in the many levels of RelationSHIPs can increase, causing discord and separation. It is important to always remain aware and present, and attentive to the needs of your partner. No matter what their gift or yours, be conscious of the conversations, the body language, the calls for you to be understanding, and the silent cries for help, because you never know what they are going through. On the other hand, as you learn from one another, never allow your circumstances and emotions to dictate your actions...Ultimately, causing you to say or do things that you might later regret.
In my opinion, good relationships are like, "Chocolaty, Edible Arrangements"-sometimes fruitful, other times sweet and always full of something...whether storms, awesome moments, character building experiences or just plain old, let me enjoy loving you through your mood swings and while your hair turns gray...times.

The special conversations had with your mate behind closed doors or in quiet, should stay there, they are the jewels that guard your secrets of vulnerability, it is there where we are able to vent and be relieved of our tensions, burdens and stresses,with the wonderful opportunity to be rebuilt, rejuvenated and nurtured. No matter what the size or the difficulty of your dream or task, you don't need a squad of cheerleaders to carry you to Victory? Remember positive reinforcement is found in words and deeds and never numbers. (Get that somebody).

Take time out of your day to pray for them, not just when they're going through difficult times but all the time. When in a PartnerSHIP you have to make an effort to include them in your daily activities, whether mental, emotional, physical , etc., and incorporate a coping mechanism that works for YOUR RelationSHIP, into your grand scheme.

 Understanding
I believe that understanding your position and season and respecting its purpose will always produce favorable results and can be most gratifying and rewarding for both you and your partner. As a Shepherd over sheep, knowing the state of their flock, so are we, to those that we are committed to.  In a sense, I believe that you should always take note of what you learn about your mate, how they function, their responses, everything that makes them tick, that they allow you to know, and use it to your advantage to love them in a healthy way.  Never push too hard, take too much, and always be ready to sow...

My Dearest Phamli,
Life is definitely full of many things...and our relationships are and can oftentimes be affected by what we go through.  One thing that I've learned is that money and prestige, can't buy you love, happiness nor emotional satisfaction and that most of us would love to achieve a somewhat perfect balance in our lives, having both career, health, home and spirituality all in alignment. None of us are immune to the ups and downs that occur when traveling in our lanes together;  However, know that Love is good and just because everyday doesn't grow roses and the sun doesn't shine, it doesn't mean that it will rain forever, and that flowers can't grow tomorrow!

As always its my intention to write something that will encourage someone, somewhere...I believe that relationSHIPS grow into what we desire, when we purpose in our hearts, minds and souls to be consistent and persistent in working on each and every area. The active involvement that partners have in each other's lives are important, and assists in building a more loving and stronger relationSHIP. Once you learn your partner's curves there is no need for vacant affectations, that produce no consequential results.  Age and external beauty accelerate and fade fast;  However, wisdom always comes inside of time and beauty evolves.  These are simply my thoughts and opinions of how I view partnerships and I send them to you

I send a wave of encouragement, peace and understanding to cover all destined partnerships.  May you be prosperous and flourish, dream big often, plan, shoot to past the stars and make the earth move, take the time to be still inside of one another, grow together, be successful, pray together and for one another, never allow your emotions to dictate your actions and continue embracing hope.  I challenge you to take time out of your day to reflect, and write a list of personal and collective goals for your partnership.  Make time for yourself and then your mate, to have good and easy conversations.  And when its all said and done, you can never go wrong with carving out a moment to let your mate know that you appreciate them, even if its for making the toast a little darker than you liked or saying "what you doing" over and over again while on the phone! Just let them know you appreciate them!  In the meantime, may you feast on the Wonders of Life!

With LoveBelazadu'm

Yahminah McIntosh

Introducing SHUGAH; Love's Dew



SHUGAH Vol. I



Belazadu'm PHAMLI!

As I am preparing to write the new piece that's coming soon,  I wanted to share 1 of my many new blessings with YOU.  After what seems like an eternity, I am finally able to say that my first book SHUGAH; Love's Dew will be released very shortly.  For those of you who have been following my work for the last couple of years, you would remember that SHUGAH was one of the first poems that I ever shared on this site.  It was written from a hopeful place, where the spirit of Ms Celie's smile,  rested upon the crumbling mountains of pain.  It's taken all of this time, to finally get to a point where I felt like it was finished.  Although, I had attempted to publish it in 2009, it was unsuccessful, because it didn't feel complete in my spirit.  Over time, I've grown to understand exactly, why I nor this work was ready to be released into the world to travel in the wind.  I can honestly say that this journey has been one of the most difficult that I've experienced thus far, because of what I had to learn about myself in order to be courageous enough to believe in the healing power of my own gifts and words. 

SHUGAH; Love's Dew, is more than a book about love, but an introduction to the beginning of a thought...It's my freedom to express what I'm feeling dancing across recycled pages where it's opposite once resided.  It is the beauty that one finds, in the palm of their hands after they've decided to crawl from up under bitterness's rock...It is that AHA MOMENT and satisfying pedigree chanted in between life's replenishment.  Today I understand the unconditional nature of God's Agape love, that in turn has fashioned the healing of my heart in such a way, where the traces of yesterday no longer exist.

I have Embraced the spirit of EsterRuth...Where I have been made to know the meaning of that shiny thing that adorned my head (my crown). For the first time in my life, my heart is at peace. Not only because it is still, but because it is whole.  It's interesting what you see in the dark, and what you appreciate in the light. 

I could tell you that writing is easy and being a person who feels emotion on extreme levels is the greatest feeling in the world, but that would not be the truth.  But what I can tell you is that I am completely satisfied with today's outcome. Within the pages of my book, you will find short stories that speak of the depth of love and creation, poems about healing and sacrifice, and pieces about commitment and redemption.  I have truly enjoyed this journey and look forward to the next phase in completing volume II.

If I could have fit every word, and every chapter that I wanted into this volume, I would have, but because my life continues to get better and my experiences are most uplifting, I wanted to be patient, so that I could do the future some justice...

I must thank, the Father for giving me love and life, to the LOML for bringing me joy, supporting my dreams and changing my life, my family for your continued love and support, my SistahPhenomenal for your gifts and creativity, my awesome wonder for loving mommy back to health, and my PHAMLI supporters for your loyalty prayers and love!

With the Metaphoric power vested in me,

 I now release SHUGAH!

SHUGAH; Love's Dew will be available October 27th. 

Please visit www.yahminahmcintosh.com to pre-order.

Stay Tuned for Upcoming Events, and the Launch of My new Website, coming soon!

God Bless and Thank You for your Love and Support.

Attitudes in the Midst

Although many people would like to believe that I wake up everyday bouncing around the house and skipping down the yellow brick road like Dorothy, cheesing like Sponge Bob and flying around like Mary Poppins, I don't. As a matter of fact, I don't always wake up everyday with a smile on my face, but that usually quickly changes once I thank the Creator for waking me up and allowing me to be in my right mind.

I have difficult days and times just like anyone else. I see darkness too and wish for sunlight and for storms to pass me over. I've dropped to my knees and pleaded with God before, and I've made mistakes, been at fault, listened to things that I didn't like, frowned, and just plain old silent when I didn't feel like saying or being around anyone. But the fact of the matter, is that usually as I am charging into my day, that I take a deep breath, close my eyes and encourage myself and say...Well Alright, and so it is as it is, everything is going to be alright!

 

Sometimes I react to somethings as if I am hearing or seeing them for the first time, and as strange as that may be to some, this has been a coping mechanism that has worked for me. It's actually true, that I may sometimes seem unaffected by things that should affect me, or speak HOPE over burning paper when there is no water in sight, or wish the best from the worst situations or am not as moved by the raging storms of life and buried by pain that I'm sure would have loved to throw ashes on my grave.

My spirit has been broken before, so that's for those who say, she's just not lived yet, and my heart has ached before...I've been disappointed just like anyone else, and I've sat on the porch of life waiting for my ride to come and take me away, at a time and it never did show up. I've survived the recession, lost everything that I've had, and am regaining everything double fold. I've looked death in the face not one but 5 times and have feared the reflection of my own face. I've walked with canes through glass filled valleys barefoot, and closed my eyes squinting wishing and depending on my weakened faith to move mountains, while drinking my own lemonade with mustard seeds. (metaphoric for sure). What I'm saying is that my positive attitude comes from the desire to live and continue to live, as well as I can, through anything that life hands me. It's not because I haven't been through anything, but that I've been through almost everything and I'm still here.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of my attitude on my life. Having a positive attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. I believe that it can make or break a company, church, home, career, etc... The remarkable thing is that we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am most convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is as it is, taking the responsibility to be in charge of our attitudes is a beautiful and rewarding task.

My Dearest Phamli,
  One of the most important things that I've discovered in my life, is how I view the present, past and how I hope for the future.  It's just like when you grow from one journey and glory of your life to the next, your perception of certain things begins to change. Everyday, I make time to reflect, clear my mind, get grounded and pray, so that I can be most clear and present and take on whatever I have to and give the right amount of energies as required.  My prayer is that you were blessed by something that you read, and that you work to improve your attitude if it needs a little adjusting. Whether you're a realist or an optimist, your attitude at all times, will always be the most important. 

Sending a wave of encouragement and positivity to everyone and a blessing for every area of your lives. May your outlooks change and may you begin to look at your lives in a different light. I hope that you are able to see beyond the affect of your circumstances and situations. I pray that you find yourself  laughing and smiling in the middle of the day, and that you are able to have a positive outlook at the most difficult times of your life. May prosperity and peace be yours.

Until Next Time
Be Well

Belazadu'm
Yahminah McIntosh