"From PITY TO POWER"

http://www.phamli.blogspot.com/

...In the midst of every fault, every feeling of shame, mistake, broken promise, shattered word and fragile moment of weakness, I've found a piece of peace in the fact that I was created to be healed, strong, have integrity and to be a productive part of the BODY OF LIFE. I still trust that my good days will outweigh my bad days and regardless of what it feels like,

 looks like and sounds like,

 I SHALL NOT COMPLAIN...

Minah 4:15

Purity

What a good feeling to know you're present, aware and alive! No bells, No whistles & NO applause.  I've shaken off every weight, and all dust from the bottom of my feet this evening, (like one who derobes down to their pure nakedness, to prepare for a long hot shower, leaving their clothes as a trail behind them).  Every light has been turned off and the light of my computer is all that you see, besides my Amber Candles that burn to the left of my night stand (blowing in unison by the air of the fan). 

What I Hear
What a peaceful noise the sound of reconciliation brings, I'm full today for no other reason than, I caught a glimpse of my face in my rearview mirror this afternoon, and my eyes were bright, clear and full. 

I love the time that I've been granted to just sit here, rest, relax, reflect and listen to music that ministers, edifies and uplifts my spirit. I believe that it is very important to filter and monitor, what we allow into our Ear & Eye Gates, because NEGATIVITY CREATES TOXINS IN THE BODY and I need to be completely clear so that I can wake up (God Willing, the next day) and do it all over again.  I found a beautiful gray hair today, that has been growing in one of my favorite locs (I think that I will name it Cymphoni).  I had never noticed it until today, and I smiled in admiration for what the Creator is donig! 

"It's amazing how much time we spend toiling over the negative and ugly things in our lives,

or even how we will translate Positivity, into Negativity and begin to get stuck and look at ourselves from a profound and obscure place.  What is more amazing, is how we have the ability to EMBRACE that of which WE KNOW, FEEL AND SEE IS GOOD, and take it and gird ourselves with its fruit and continue journeying through life."

Minah 12:30

an excerpt from

Street Lights

...The resurrection of a tired soul

a spirit unclaimed for seasons

due to hidden reasons

losing her thank you's

as she drowned in "yes please" and I do's

the street lights came on

a long time ago

and life called the little girl home

but because she wasn't finished she wouldn't go

drawing angels in the snow

and laying down in tear, tempered bricks to make

the hurtful past flow

she pushed them away, and closed her eyes to make them go

but souls can only handle the imagination of what they don't know 

double dutch

she plays

because she'd been handled in peculiar ways,

in the earlier days

and didn't understand that woman was created

to give birth to the best circumstance

not to live behind broken chances

she walked so far into the light

and confused wrong with right

day with night

blind with sight

displaced but reformed through the abuse of her

presence at the wrong time

walking up the steps, to her home to rest

and befriended by strangers

but her sleeves had no tricks left

when she clicked her heels she danced in place

and settled for wiping the blood from her own face

pressing rewind, she keeps pressing rewind

and turns around and realizes that momma could stop everything

but time,

so she sits, waiting for the doors to open again

so that she could fix, the broken pieces that she found floating in the rain

while she was let out to play

she just wanted to play

she just wanted to play...

Yahminah McIntosh Copyright 2010 

The Garden of Reason

What I know for sure, is that sometimes you have to dig deeper in order to RISE HIGHER!  I figured that since I had this most precious time on my hands this evening and since I desire MORE in every area of my life, I put on the gloves of FAITH and took the SHOVEL OF GOOD INTENTIONS AND STARTED TO DIG (with my wings and cape in clear view)


In my digging I began thinking about many of the things that I could have done, the people that I've forgiven but have not forgotten and the things that I've been forgiven for but am held hostage to, all in the name of good will.  I'm also thinking about all of the things in my life that could have buried me alive over and over again, those things that I'd like to forget and have spent the better part of my womanhood trying to get through and over, those things that caused me to lose the use of my heart and shattered every whole piece of me and the things that I stamped with Failure because of Fear, without completing. 


I became even more real with the smile that hid the tears and the laughter that masked the feelings that I was too immature to deal with.  This was hard, but necessary, because even with the strongest wings and the best cape, you won't get far if  you use waste as your FUEL, so just deal with it and LET IT GO.  The lighter you are, the farther you can go and higher you can SOAR! GOD PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AGAIN! Amen Somebody

Engedi (The Mercy Seat)

As I sit here and close my eyes, I embrace the stillness of this moment and the reality of its dew as this day comes to a beautiful close. I'm entering into that special place, full of Precious Reflective moments. I'm looking around and brushing myself off as I step out of the place where I've sprinkled the ashes from what I've dug up.  I burned them with the POWER OF MY OWN FAITH, YOU KNOW? This movement causes me to shed tears that I know for a Fact, God CAN HEAR.

This place that I call "ENGEDI"  is where we have the  permission to stand still, be grateful, remember, lean to understand and feel the presence of all that is more powerful than ourselves...This is that time when we think about the price that we've sacrificed to pay, in order to purchase ourselves back from the places that we've given our most precious selves on consignment.

This is where we have the opportunity to become better than we were the moment before, where we can stand behind the veil, where we can pray without ceasing and speak openly and honestly with the Creator.  This is where we enter the "Boot Camp of Growth", Learn how to be better Individuals, Parents, Mates, Communicators, Sons and Daughters, etc...Here, We are able to embrace  the Power that we've lost, and realign ourselves and learn who & who's we are.  One of the most important gifts that I am taking from this time, is the capability of being able to CROWN THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA PROPERLY IN MY LIFE.

Ministry of Words
(Psalms ~86:10) (Isaiah ~12:5)


...I cherish the quiet peace that has enlisted my ear and heart, because ITS GOOD...Listening to 'I Desire More" - Crystal Aiken, "Alabaster Box" - Ce Ce Winans, "The Lord is With us in this Place" - Yolanda Adams & Fred Hammond, "Even Me" - Yolanda Adams, "Praise is What I do" - Shikinah Glory, "So High": - John Legend, "Bread of Life" -  Fred Hammond, "The Best in Me" - Marvin Sapp, "Count it All Joy"-The Winans...

"Don't be overdrawn by the attention that you pay to your flaws and mistakes, nor be depleted by the energy that you give to counting how many times that you fall, but be inreased by seeing the Best You that was intended to exist, be encouraged and edified by counting how many times that you get up and find value and security in the love that you have within yourself"
Minah  1:22

an excerpt from

Altar of Grace

Who is like the Lord, there is none

with all knowing power in the palm of his hands

there can be only one

none of what I've done

deserved standing ovations

without the acknowledgement of HIS SON

Alone in the presence of the most high

is where my peace abides

and where my broken soul is made whole

and untied

and again I am able to truly get to know HIM

rescued from beside the pond, where I've been sitting

and traveling my whole life, with issues of love

buried deep within tombs where He'D not been

the picturesque flow of the hem of his garment

touch it, they say and laugh but I crawl closer because

I'm weak but have faith...

Tears flowing like the River of Jordan on the mercy seat of GRACE,

on my knees, atop of rebellious seas, parting in their own way

His love summoning me to come closer

I'm free from the spoils of life's sweetness, that rests upon my hope's shoulders

My will is moved by the power of the anointed touch that changes my mind

words without sound are poured over me

and that still small voice, makes joy rain and stops time,

Inhaling an ascending wind that produces tears of bliss

in eyes that were once filled with pain

because I was shackled by ankle and wrist

spoken words oustretched ministering to my hurt

casting down myths of delayed healing, breaking the generational curse

Injected with a song

Appointed to walk along, a road filled with those who were where I've been

held captive to the weight of the perceptions of their own sins

at the altar of grace, where the keystoned answer to life's question is

I've found healing, love, peace, happiness, joy, purpose and meaning

and all that surpasses all understanding...

Indeed

Yahminah McIntosh Copyright 2010

My Dearest PHAMLI,

I reached the rainbow's end today and caught a shooting star.  That's right!  I have found so much POWER in the RELEASING of  unnecessary weight.  Time is precious and when you have the opportunity to reflect and thoroughly work things out that are needed, TAKE IT!  Seek to build a stronger relationship with the Creator, and take time to get to know you, so that you can IMPROVE IN THE MOST IMPORTANT AREAS IN THE MOST SIGNIFICANT  WAYS, SO THAT YOU MAY BE A POSITIVE FORCE AND AFFECT THOSE THAT LOVE YOU AND THE WORLD AROUND YOU.  The enjoyment of your Life, will be so much SWEETER and LASTING , and the journey that you TAKE will be most gratifying when you learn to TRAVEL LIGHT, FLY RIGHT AND SOAR BEYOND THE FREY!

Remember, don't waste the time that God has given you, don't try and change the things that you weren't meant to change, stay in your lane, don't be selfish, enjoy your loved ones. Appreciate and value yourself for where YOU ARE, but never SETTLE FOR LETTING WHAT'S BURIED (things that you need to deal with and let go of) DICTATE YOUR FAITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May you be well, take time to reflect, get out those gloves and shovel and WORK IT OUT! I'll see you in Flight!!!!!!!!!

Until Next Time

Be Well

Belazadu'm

Yahminah