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My performance was beautiful and all I can say is that it is well...The more I recite my poetry the deeper I feel the words that I've written. The mind doesn't let you forget, even if you try, but when nice clouds come and take the rain away, why would you want to forget them. Today's performance was different, because it was the first time that I'd recited some of the pieces from my new book, and the passion that poured out of my heart today, gave not only those listening goose bumps, but I still have tears in my eyes...Tonight, was raw and innoccent, pure and real...and comfort opened its arms wide open and called me by name and I went and I just began speaking what was on my heart and mind..."Let it flow, it's okay" the spirit said and that's exactly what I did.
I must thank the bass player, drummer and pianist, for a job well done, you guys really blessed me tonight and it was alright with me. Many blessings upon you and your families.
Finishing SHUGAH; Love's Dew (my first book) was a blessing, since it has taken me over two years to release it. Many of you who have followed my work over the years, know that SHUGAH was the 2nd poem that graced the pages of "Conversations with PHAMLI". I tell you in the middle of the night, the piece poured out of my spirit like warm water from the springs of life in the middle of June. I can honestly say, that after experiencing life, it is one of the most prophetic pieces that I've written to date.
There was no editing or changing anything in that poem, it was raw and I delighted in every single word that was written. I had so many comments on the piece, once I made it public, that it had taken me a couple of days to get through them all. The responses were warm and positive, and confirmed the energy that the creator blessed me with to write it. I was so proud of that piece, because of how powerful and beautiful it was. It spoke to my heart's desires, it ministered to hidden pain, it handed me a promise of beauty that little girls dream of, and it expressed an undeniably unconditional and lasting love, that many never have the opportunity to experience and discover in this lifetime. Yes it was all of that and a bag of celery ;).
A Sweet Read
When I went back to read it, I noticed that it encompassed a message, request and statement that one could only understand and receive if they truly desired to feel the fullness of good love. As I created a platform for my expressions, my readership and interests grew. I noticed that I was writing more and more about Love, Romance and Building & Maintaining Healthy Relationships. I covered every topic that my wisdom would allow, Like: "Making Love after War", "Finding Flames in the Freezer", "Elbow Grease - the art of working through the Storm", "The Boo Theory - the true 80/20 rule" "How to keep what you know you'll always miss". These topics eventually opened up avenues for fruitful discussions and conversations.
Once I started writing SHUGAH; Love's Dew the book, there was no stopping me...I had already completed "Lovgistics: The RelationSHIP Series 1-25", released on "Conversations with PHAMLI, that received love and support from so many. I finally sent SHUGAH to print in 2009 and once I received it back, things just weren't what I wanted them to be. As I looked at what I had written, the book still screamed, "Not Finished - Yet!" At the time the dissatisfaction of the printing, coupled with the feeling of incompleteness led me to place SHUGAH to rest until God said that it was time to pick it up and move forward with it.
Although I placed my book on the back burner, I still decided to move forward with the production and recording of SHUGAH and added it to my first CD "Pieces of a Dream", which to this day, continues to bless me each and every time I hear it. The more that I grew as a woman and the more that God began to reveal to me about love, the more attention I paid to what I wrote, spoke and how I conducted myself within my own life. I began to ask the father for specific blessings and the more I prayed and left those requests at the altar, the more I began to work on myself on the inside. I've been asked a thousand times, "Ms McIntosh, what's your secret to a good relationship or how do you make it work when it's not working or how do you stay happy?" amongst many other questions that I've attempted to answer in my blog entries.
I've never stated that I had the perfect pieces to the puzzle or knew all of the right answers, but what I do have is hope, and I believe that anything worth having if its your desire to having something long term, it's worth the occasional tears, Tuesday sweats and a drop of blood every now and then, if the pros have it. Indeed
That would be...Ever After...
There does come a point in your life when everything comes together and some things begin to make sense as they start to take form and take their place..It wasn't until 2010 that I decided to open my eyes a little wider, put my hands down while taking the boxing gloves off, adjust my ears to stop translating beauty into ashes, sit still, elevate my feet, start making lemonade, rest my eyes, smile without covering my face and exhale.
Hummm, it's interesting the things that will grow you into who you desire to become. This year I grew even closer to God than I ever have been in my entire life. Now it's true, that I've been in ministry and I've done this and that, but I came to know His Agape Love in a new and different way. I was forced to look at each and every decision as a life changing one, nothing that would be just to fill the moments or something to do in the meantime.
As stubborn as I can be, Yahminah, learned several lessons of her own in self discipline, time, love and yes patience. I've never been more humbled in my life, and surely have never been so surprised about the things that can happen when you least expect them. My grandmother Valentine always used to say, "If you still can sit on the porch and rock drinking your lemonade, while waving at the people in the lane, after the storm has beat upon the tin roof keeping you up all night, then you know you'll be around to see the sun shine again." She was always a hoot and would have me scratching my head with some of the things that she would say, but they all make sense now! Gracia's grandma, te echo de menos, descanse en paz!
Hummm, it's interesting the things that will grow you into who you desire to become. This year I grew even closer to God than I ever have been in my entire life. Now it's true, that I've been in ministry and I've done this and that, but I came to know His Agape Love in a new and different way. I was forced to look at each and every decision as a life changing one, nothing that would be just to fill the moments or something to do in the meantime.
As stubborn as I can be, Yahminah, learned several lessons of her own in self discipline, time, love and yes patience. I've never been more humbled in my life, and surely have never been so surprised about the things that can happen when you least expect them. My grandmother Valentine always used to say, "If you still can sit on the porch and rock drinking your lemonade, while waving at the people in the lane, after the storm has beat upon the tin roof keeping you up all night, then you know you'll be around to see the sun shine again." She was always a hoot and would have me scratching my head with some of the things that she would say, but they all make sense now! Gracia's grandma, te echo de menos, descanse en paz!
Indeed After embracing the Sweet Epiphany this year, I picked up SHUGAH, read through it and was led to rewrite the whole book. So within this year, I was blessed with what I needed to finally finsish and complete the Love's Dew that would ultimately satisfy my heart and soul. I was intentional about every short story that revealed another piece of me, every poem that my heart would have the strength enough to paint and every quote that I have found to be most truthful and helpful. This book is a literal lyrical documentary that bowed from the stages of my heart. From the Diatu'li Menai't (the Book's Dedication) to the piece titled "My Promise" my true promise, I prayed long and hard and asked the Lord to preserve my words and keep them pure and meaningful that they may be echoed throughout my love's history...Although that statement may seem deep to some, but because I am understanding Love more and more each day, I realize how important the words that we speak and the things that we do are. Our transparencies and ability to be vulnerable keeps us human, while our coping mechanisms can keep us sane. Expression is the healthiest form of breathing for me, because once you know and understand God's love and love yourself, you can truly and fully share that with someone else.
My Dearest PHAMLI,
My earnest desire is that each and every one of you will have the opportunity to read SHUGAH; Love's Dew, which is the first of a series of books. I want you to tear into the pages of this work, and find something beautiful out of the many pieces that speaks to you and if you have someone special in your life, dedicate it to them, or read the pieces together even. It's not only a good read, but it's a book that was truly written for a good and clean heart. There is no pain in SHUGAH, No hatred, No heartache, there is only a genuine and sincere account of how I experience, esxperienced and see love. So for many who have asked me questions about my life, the book should answer some of those questions for you. Wink. To my PHAMLI couples: May you be blessed individually and collectively, take time to pray together and for one another, may you find peace and enjoyment in one another all the days of your life. May you live "The Promise", stroll through your journey together with "Happi Pheet", become "Sojourners", Have "Good and Sweet nights", Experience "Zoe" and keep loving one another unconditionally. Indeed
Your attention is a gift. Thank you for supporting me and my work. To order your copy of SHUGAH; Love's Dew go to http://www.yahminahmcintosh.com/
and to be added to our email list, to be notified of upcoming signings and events email us at wearephamli@yahoo.com
Until Next Time
Be Well
Belazadu'm
Yahminah McIntosh
