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The fairytale
Recently, I buried 2 friends of mine, who happened to be married. Their story is sweet unlike any other and beautifully full, but tragic. Through the piece of their life that I was made to know, I was moved by their undying support, commitment and love for one another, even when one of them was away fighting in Iraq for a long period of time. In their pain, I found joy in the fact that they were one another's comfort, and hope within their fight, I now see why they stayed still...And in their deaths I am often moved and brought to tears, because I understand how long they waited for one another, only to enjoy their lives for a brief moment in time, preparing one another for the fitting of their wings. RIP my dear friends.
A Pair of Smiles
In life there will be blessings that you prepare to receive, and other times there will be blessings that will sneak up on you and make you smile...Today, while picking up more of my “Honeycrisp” Apples, I was startled by an old friend, who placed her hands over my eyes (and anyone who knows me, knows that this is a no no-wink,especially when I’m picking fruit), and when I turned around, I saw one of my many favorite couples! They were just a smiling, and said that, I had been on their minds for quite a while.
Recently, I buried 2 friends of mine, who happened to be married. Their story is sweet unlike any other and beautifully full, but tragic. Through the piece of their life that I was made to know, I was moved by their undying support, commitment and love for one another, even when one of them was away fighting in Iraq for a long period of time. In their pain, I found joy in the fact that they were one another's comfort, and hope within their fight, I now see why they stayed still...And in their deaths I am often moved and brought to tears, because I understand how long they waited for one another, only to enjoy their lives for a brief moment in time, preparing one another for the fitting of their wings. RIP my dear friends.
A Pair of Smiles
In life there will be blessings that you prepare to receive, and other times there will be blessings that will sneak up on you and make you smile...Today, while picking up more of my “Honeycrisp” Apples, I was startled by an old friend, who placed her hands over my eyes (and anyone who knows me, knows that this is a no no-wink,especially when I’m picking fruit), and when I turned around, I saw one of my many favorite couples! They were just a smiling, and said that, I had been on their minds for quite a while.
As they were catching me up on everything that was going on in their lives, they reminded me that they would be celebrating their 1 year anniversary next week, and that they will actually be apart due to travel for work, but are planning something soon. As they were speaking, it was cute to see how, one would stop and look at the other, as a sign of respect, so that the other could finish their thoughts. I learned of the progress that they've made after finally coming together and it made my heart glad to know that they stuck in there.
To connect with them again was a blessing, because I can recall when we met, the trials that they encountered and the triumphs that they were able to experience as one. Like yesterday I can remember their wedding, their vows and the passion that poured through my spirit, from the piece that I had custom written for their special day, titled, "Real Time", Before they parted they said that one of the hardest things that they had to do, was keep their lives fruitful, in the midst of everything that they did (work, family, church, traveling, school, projects, etc...) and that they are making every effort to make sure that they keep one another first. I remembered that one of them is a flight attendant and the other a traveling trainer, and they said how difficult staying on point and being focused had been; However, theyre making it work. When they said that, one of them winked at me and mouthed, "we learned that from you". That made me smile and I bid them farewell and continued picking my apples!
Ironically, when I got back in my car, "Just the Two of Us" by By Bill Withers was going off, and "The Reason" by Musiq Soulchild was coming on...I was driving, smiling and jamming, because you never know how much of an impression that you can make upon some one's life. And for me, every now and then, a spice of encouragement goes a long long way! My conversation with them, stuck with me, and for Now those that I've either counseled or have followed my work, will all tell you the same thing, "I believe in building and working toward a healthy relationship." They will also tell you, that "I always want to talk about it, and that good communication is the key that can unlock many doors." Now I don't profess to know everything, nor does my life and relationship reflect perfection; However, the principles of Partnership, building, learning, understanding, encouraging, loving and uplifting your significant other, are understood.
Chips & SHIPS
I look at all committed relationships as PartnerSHIPS, no matter if they’re marriages, engagements, etc, because there are two people involved, who are working toward the same goal, experiencing the same tribulations at the same time. I believe that anything that you desire, and that you feel is worth having, is something that you sometimes have to pull up your sleeves, put in some work, use a little elbow grease and humble yourself as you work toward your goal of a "Healthy, Happy & Satisfying relationship.
As my grandmother, Valentine always said, "You can always learn something new, after Sunday night, and that's a good thing!" So each day, I aspire to open my ears, mind and heart to learn what I can so that I can become a better mate and person. Its funny though, because it was this same couple that said in one of our conversations, that they couldn't imagine being Dr. Phil's mate, and sure as heck wouldn't know what to do if they were mine, because, if being with me was in any way like what I tell them to do, ooh wee. LOL, hey I wouldn't know...It's a walk in the park from what I understand! :)
I look at all committed relationships as PartnerSHIPS, no matter if they’re marriages, engagements, etc, because there are two people involved, who are working toward the same goal, experiencing the same tribulations at the same time. I believe that anything that you desire, and that you feel is worth having, is something that you sometimes have to pull up your sleeves, put in some work, use a little elbow grease and humble yourself as you work toward your goal of a "Healthy, Happy & Satisfying relationship.
As my grandmother, Valentine always said, "You can always learn something new, after Sunday night, and that's a good thing!" So each day, I aspire to open my ears, mind and heart to learn what I can so that I can become a better mate and person. Its funny though, because it was this same couple that said in one of our conversations, that they couldn't imagine being Dr. Phil's mate, and sure as heck wouldn't know what to do if they were mine, because, if being with me was in any way like what I tell them to do, ooh wee. LOL, hey I wouldn't know...It's a walk in the park from what I understand! :)
Ordinary People
For some reason, I began to think about the first lady and the president, who live their lives just like many of us. I always advocate for mates to treat one another significantly, acknowledge one another always and make sure that they are keeping themselves in check at all times. But hey, that would require a tremendous amount of perfection ! (Cheese)
I have always been moved by Michelle Obama and how her meritorious introductions that she would give for her Mate, Partner, Phriend, Father of her children, Companion Barack, were always well done and received with unrivaled buoyancy. Her bold possession of certainty in the trustworthiness and belief in his abilities to deliver the change that they both stand for, have been both persuasive and satisfying.
With all that Michelle has to deal with: The media, society, racism, children, a husband, America, ETC......She has to be strong, courageous, and use wisdom in every decision she makes, every cause she fights for, what she does with her children and especially how she interacts with her partner. Remember Barack is the presidential candidate not Michelle; However, because of their connection she benefits equally, and his glory takes nothing away from her SHINE! They both succeed! They make a good team, because they both know who they are.
Love in Motion
Asperities found in the many levels of RelationSHIPs can increase, causing discord and separation. It is important to always remain aware and present, and attentive to the needs of your partner. No matter what their gift or yours, be conscious of the conversations, the body language, the calls for you to be understanding, and the silent cries for help, because you never know what they are going through. On the other hand, as you learn from one another, never allow your circumstances and emotions to dictate your actions...Ultimately, causing you to say or do things that you might later regret.
In my opinion, good relationships are like, "Chocolaty, Edible Arrangements"-sometimes fruitful, other times sweet and always full of something...whether storms, awesome moments, character building experiences or just plain old, let me enjoy loving you through your mood swings and while your hair turns gray...times.
The special conversations had with your mate behind closed doors or in quiet, should stay there, they are the jewels that guard your secrets of vulnerability, it is there where we are able to vent and be relieved of our tensions, burdens and stresses,with the wonderful opportunity to be rebuilt, rejuvenated and nurtured. No matter what the size or the difficulty of your dream or task, you don't need a squad of cheerleaders to carry you to Victory? Remember positive reinforcement is found in words and deeds and never numbers. (Get that somebody). Take time out of your day to pray for them, not just when they're going through difficult times but all the time. When in a PartnerSHIP you have to make an effort to include them in your daily activities, whether mental, emotional, physical , etc., and incorporate a coping mechanism that works for YOUR RelationSHIP, into your grand scheme.
I believe that understanding your position and season and respecting its purpose will always produce favorable results and can be most gratifying and rewarding for both you and your partner. As a Shepherd over sheep, knowing the state of their flock, so are we, to those that we are committed to. In a sense, I believe that you should always take note of what you learn about your mate, how they function, their responses, everything that makes them tick, that they allow you to know, and use it to your advantage to love them in a healthy way. Never push too hard, take too much, and always be ready to sow...
Life is definitely full of many things...and our relationships are and can oftentimes be affected by what we go through. One thing that I've learned is that money and prestige, can't buy you love, happiness nor emotional satisfaction and that most of us would love to achieve a somewhat perfect balance in our lives, having both career, health, home and spirituality all in alignment. None of us are immune to the ups and downs that occur when traveling in our lanes together; However, know that Love is good and just because everyday doesn't grow roses and the sun doesn't shine, it doesn't mean that it will rain forever, and that flowers can't grow tomorrow!
As always its my intention to write something that will encourage someone, somewhere...I believe that relationSHIPS grow into what we desire, when we purpose in our hearts, minds and souls to be consistent and persistent in working on each and every area. The active involvement that partners have in each other's lives are important, and assists in building a more loving and stronger relationSHIP. Once you learn your partner's curves there is no need for vacant affectations, that produce no consequential results. Age and external beauty accelerate and fade fast; However, wisdom always comes inside of time and beauty evolves. These are simply my thoughts and opinions of how I view partnerships and I send them to you
I send a wave of encouragement, peace and understanding to cover all destined partnerships. May you be prosperous and flourish, dream big often, plan, shoot to past the stars and make the earth move, take the time to be still inside of one another, grow together, be successful, pray together and for one another, never allow your emotions to dictate your actions and continue embracing hope. I challenge you to take time out of your day to reflect, and write a list of personal and collective goals for your partnership. Make time for yourself and then your mate, to have good and easy conversations. And when its all said and done, you can never go wrong with carving out a moment to let your mate know that you appreciate them, even if its for making the toast a little darker than you liked or saying "what you doing" over and over again while on the phone! Just let them know you appreciate them! In the meantime, may you feast on the Wonders of Life!
With LoveBelazadu'm
Yahminah McIntosh
