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With anticipation she walked forward facing the sunrise and found solace in her reflections...As she wiped her tears away and looked at her compass, she recalled that her seasons had been a long hard and bumpy one, filled with tenebrous tunnels that led to turbulent seas that she didn't have the faith to part, love that seemed to be created and molded from her very rib, death that rode on the heels of her second hand shoes, that were given to her by her mentors and silent trails that were paved with honor that she didn't feel she was worthy enough to reach. There is a lot that she remembered, that would become the lyrics to the songs that she began singing as she continued traveling. The longer she walked, the more she looked for some type of sign that she was getting closer to the ship that would carry her to her destination, but all she could hear is the last call for passengers and the horn that drowned out her anxieties, but no ship was in sight.
She stood tall and strong, carrying the weight of her own personal victories and pain in her bosom without closure. She was dressed beautifully as if her garments were woven by poetic angels that were competing for God's favor to be expressed upon the words that they wrote. Her hair now shorter and wavey with copper tones, lacking the length that once held her captive, because of its soul tying energies, she moved quietly amongst the field of sleeping soldiers that she would one day lead. Armed with her list of dreams, goals and aspirations and dragging her bag of lemons, she stopped alongside a train that had stopped at the end of its tracks in the middle of the sand, facing the wind. As she began walking on, she heard the sound of violins coming from the train and turned around and stood still, looking through its windows to see who was playing...
Since the sun was now beginning to set again, and her arms were tired, she decided to climb aboard the train and found a comfortable seat on the right side next to the window. When she sat down, she exhaled and exhaled again...And when she looked out of the window, she noticed that most of her lemons were sitting in the sand, exactly where she left them before boarding. She never meant to stay on the train, but just wanted to see where the beautiful music was coming from. Everyone knows that she never let her lemons out of her site, and they so enjoyed her special lemonade that she made on Friday nights that was sweetened with her unique 'Luck of Joi Root", Life's sweetener that she discovered while on her knees, recovering from the trials of life.
As she looked around, she found an envelope with her name on it, that said, "You are a light, God Bless and may all good things be unto you." Puzzled to say the least, she motioned to get up, but fate's seat belt kept her motionless and stable, and after being pulled back in that comfort, she was unwilling to try to fight and stand again. She noticed that the train began to move, but in the opposite direction of where she was going. Lord knows what she had to go through in order to try to get close enough to the ship, so that she could finally sail...God only knew, how many mountains that she had to climb, with the weight of the world and those lemons on her back. How could it be that as far as she traveled and what she had done, that it was all for sport? She felt as if her wounds were green with no memory of how she got them, and her hope of her destination was a figment of her imagination. Was she dreaming? "The chime of Life's alarm clock, will wake your soul!" she heard and she yelled out, "Where am I going, now?", and the violins welcomed a harp and guitar that calmed the turmoil in her spirit and she sat down and became very quiet. Love was still all around her and it was like her spirit put on boxing gloves and began to fight through it, and laid them down in victory on the lap of her being...Not another word was said. Not another punch thrown, she was just silent...In the wind she heard the under tunes of an old song, "At Last"... Was she dreaming? How would she ever get back as close as she was, to finally getting there? As she looked out of the windows, she noticed a change in scenery and mood, and she knew that she was headed to an unfamiliar place. With her mind boggled with a million questions and unable to rest, she decided to close her eyes to rest for a while, from all of the traveling she had been doing, during the transitions of the seasons. Her Winters became Springs, without notice and her Summers dashed into Autumn, before she could fully stand up again and she was made still. As she began to dream, she felt the hands of God holding her tightly and saw pictures of beautiful places that she had never seen before. This time peace found her and all of her sadness began to leave her slowly through the comfort of blurred moments. When she finally woke up, her eyes weren't ready to open, so she moved about cautiously without anything that she was used to having or help to survive...From wall to wall she made her way to and fro, nourishing her mind and body with spiritual pieces that would later restore her. Not being able to hear the voice, that echoed from what she thought was destiny and had raised her many times before, she stayed buried underneath blankets and quilts, rinsing often from the libation of hope.
Even with offered plates, placed on her night stand from pity parties that interrupted her space, she remained empty and without substance. As time went on, she learned to appreciate the sound of her own beating heart and the epistle that strength and courage helped her to complete. She hadn't spoken ten words in 4 days and her mind was in a complete state of healing and seeking restoration. As the train began to slow down, she could feel her spirit opening up and the smell of fresh squeezed lemons filled the air. She could feel color all around her and the thought of feeling good, began to dance around her. With her eyes still closed and no map or directions given to her, she was afraid for a moment to open her eyes and she began to pray. As she prayed, the song of miracles filled her heart and she had made peace with wherever she was taken. She had nothing with her, no baggage, no pain, no ugliness, no complaints, just beauty that poured from the light of her eyes, that she never saw, when they were open...As the train stopped, a pure sense of "It's Your Time", filled her personal space and her weakened knees became strong again...and she felt paint brushes and paint on the seat next to her. Like times before, she felt no certainty or promise but Life and Purpose...As the alarm clock rang, she took a deep breath and opened her eyes...And when she opened eyes, she saw A Rainbow Restored, Dead Flowers Blooming, Perfection floating amidst Tuesday's Clouds and the Old Her buried far beneath rocks in sight. Her heart full, her mind clear and her life...Her life...My Life became a canvas...
