Loosed

    ...And when the little girl heard those living words (Talitha Cumi~little girl arise) as they traveled through the bolted doors and bounced off the walls of her tomb, she removed the clothes that she was buried in and began to rise...and as she rose, she took a deep breathe, and as she exhaled, she cleared her mind and heart and began feeling around for a stable place...As she placed her hands on the wall she swung her legs around and jumped down.  When she jumped she fell to her knees and was humbled when she opened her eyes to find, new clothes, a crown and silver wings resting upon the clouds that made the rain, the day she was buried.  As she began to lift her head she began to hummm a sweet tune that she heard the angels sing that watched over her during the cold nights.                                                               Once she realized that she was no longer bound to her tomb, she received the voice of the Creator who remembered that she washed his feet with her hair and tears, and the oil that she shared in her alabaster box was done willingly and with good intention.  He spoke a blessing over her and Declared her Loosed and Set Free.  He then Commanded her to release the Past and take up her Cross and Walk, because she was now strong enough to carry it...And she Began to Walk...

To anyone who has ever felt like life has been growing the most bitter lemons, just to throw them at you. For the mindful that have lost their minds as they traveled down roads they didn't understand, and those that have lost themselves when gambling with fear. To those that lock themselves in prisons recruiting others to help you stay in.  To the brokenhearted, hopeless, thirsty, hungry, every mountain climber, life changer, gifted being, Beacon of light, intercessor, nurturer and human being that knows everything will be alright, but gets tired in the middle of the race and falls on the way side only to become a carrier of water bottles. May you Be Thoroughly Encouraged, Chased by Completion, Filled with Joy and may Hope run through your veins.

~Selah~

Living Testimony

BE1!~Go deeper, get better, don't be ashamed or embarrassed about what life hands you, but have Pride in what you do with what you get...Sharing your life with others can sometimes not only be the most difficult thing, but at times the most freeing thing that you could ever do.  A testimony is never just for you, because within the minutes, hours and days that you are going through whatever is happening in your life, there are others that are experiencing the same.                                                                                                                                                                                   To be an open book is hard because when you speak of your experiences you are sometimes reminded of where you've been and whats happened in your life, but on the other hand it shows your resilience to make it and live.  Don't be ashamed of what you go through or what you share, because as you grow and succeed, the outcome is a blessing all the more, because you made it.  

                                                                                      

Life is filled with great times and those that you wish you could forget, time is stolen and given back within a powerful measure of good experiences. You may struggle to give up, and you may fight to stay in the game, you may even want to stand still and get the heck out of dodge, but your spirit says rise but you just don't know how...But think of it this way, even though you might not feel like it, you are stronger because you are still living.

UP                                                                                                        Sometimes when you feel like your life is stagnant and under construction...don't be dismayed, because you're actually just Under Progress, and as long as you understand that you have to dig to build a good foundation, you'll be just fine...                                                                                              

My Garden

The morning is an interesting time in life when the sun prepares to rise and the moon finishes its business. Because of my patterns of sleep often times I have the opportunity to watch the transitions between them both;  However, today's movement released my attention, that had been caught some time ago.  I walked into my garden that I tried to plant over 6 months ago (I'm no gardener, by any means) and was amazed.  Since planting the seeds, there had been some terrible rains and heavy winds that had shaken the soil up a little bit, in which I had to reposition my beloved flowers and herbs.  I had some great plans for them with my crystal vases and healthy dishes I wanted to cook, but it just seemed like the storms wouldn't cease and time was ticking.

I had become discouraged doing all the right things and talking to the soil.  I had stopped watering that darn thing because everything that grew began to fall and the dandelions that grew like crazy changed and withered away.  Just when I decided to cover my little 10x10 patch of earth, with a rock garden,  I saw the most beautiful flower beginning to grow (its almost like it grew for me while I was standing there).  Needless to say life was calling my name, and I turned to answer and when I turned around, I found 6 more flowers in my garden.  I will forever value the joy of that moment.

Just Breathe                                                                                         Like a fish out of water gasping for air, I ran to my dwelling place to get the sweetest drink of nectar that I had put in the freezer before I left, only to find enough to wet my pallet. I made sure that I finished sweeping up the broken pieces that for some reason seemed to multiply, I had every intention on cooking and doing my normal routine after my walk and run but, I found every white sheet that I could and began covering my furniture, mirrors and windows...I packed my suitcase, braided my hair, dressed in white and turned off the lights and closed the door.

I jumped in my car and began driving.. I traveled to a PLACE, where words, lessons and wisdom sat upon the crest of the moon and became a sweet CYMPHONI that pulled everything out of spirit (as if I was on dialysis and my blood was being cleansed). Oh what a site to see this was, Oh what a moment to treasure this would become (because everything that I have learned up to this point would not act as a sort of a GPS, if you will) the winding road, the color of the sky, the hue of change and the movement of an impossible thing...

 Once I reached my destination, I danced in the rain, drenched by the quiet and gentle storm that hid within the drops...and I didn't want to close my eyes or rest, because I didn't want to miss a thing, and it was good for me...

"...Sometimes when you don't think that you can be surprised anymore than you've been, or amazed beyond what you think could ever happen, or have the will, strength, vision and hope to last, surviving within the seconds of experiences that yield to the tumultuous storms of life...You can and will surprise yourself and that is definitely a good thing" YMC

Truth

"...Its interesting what happens in between the moments of deep thought, unspeakable passion, building of beautiful dreams and believing in great ideas.  The spaces between are where you'll find those pieces of yourself that you've lost, given up, sacrificed or were too broken to fix. Sometimes its not what you do, say, feel or think, but more so how you do these things...


"When you're down and dream of getting up, look up, because the more of your hope that you give away, the least likely you are to be able to raise yourself, when your life depends on it."  YMC

OhDai'

Inside this day, I've had some experiences, heard some words, felt some emotions,

understood some interesting things, I prayed and danced alot, I thought of things that kept me up at night, spoke of things I vowed never to mention, had a good and heavy cry, laughed hysterically, smiled beautifully, rejoiced thoroughly, walked for many miles, and found peace with parting with my many stolen joys...

I stopped keeping track of missed days of happiness, and I stopped searching for answers that laughed and hid from me as they ran, because they wanted to be found...

And for a minute I can admit that I chased them, partly because I wanted to know and didn't understand, but in the end I just wanted to offer them a blanket so that they wouldn't freeze to death ...

...I picked up broken and confused chips that were too stubborn to fall according to God's will and placed them in a place where they could breathe.  When I faced ME in the mirror, I bowed out of respect because of who I was becoming. I held my chest, put on my best suit and most comfortable heels,

 and took my sledge hammer and began tearing down the wall that I so easily have gravitated to when life's heaviness began to weigh on my soul...Although it was the most beautiful wall that you would have ever seen it was killing me softly and I didn't know it.

 

I parked my special train today and rode my white horse and decided to remove the headstone from things that I buried, so that I could no longer find them to dig them up, because I've already laid them to rest and since they've found peace so should I...

I am paying myself in full today, so that I no longer owe it to myself to Go Higher, Get Better, Step out on Faith, Smile, Be Happy and Soar...

In my Heart

With the Power Invested in Me
I speak that you shall live and you shall not die
You shall be the head and not the tail
There is Power in Words;
Therefore, I Speak Forth a New Spirit of Healthy & Relevant PHREEDOM,

to Grow out of the Foundation that you've been desiring but too afraid to Activate it. 

 I Send forth the Most Powerful Yet, Wave of Positive Energy & Encouragement directly to the Hearts and Minds of All who will receive it.  I intercede for all who want and think to pray but can't

May your words and actions coincide and May you Walk with Courage, Authority and Confidence in ALL things, I pray that you change your mind and no longer feast on the vine of procrastination, are made whole, healed and mended. 

I pray that you see possibilities where there are none, doors opened where they've been closed,  ... Know that You are Beautiful, Chosen, Important, Gifted & Needed.  I pray that you are Blessed, on top and have all things under your feet.

"For Life, For Love, For Wisdom, For Peace, For Laughter, For Joy, For Solitude, For Tranquility,

 For More, For Better, For Greater, For Time, For Transitions, For Storms, For Gains, For Lessons,

For Mercy, For Grace, For Strength, For Power, For all that I AM, For all the I Know, For all that I See, For What I've Been Through, For How I've Gotten Through, For For What I've Learned, For What I want, For what I need, For what I Desire, For All that I Shall Become...

"For every descriptive word that has grown in my spirit, for creation's most beautiful treasures, and for every experience that has crossed my path and taught me how to remove Platinum Shackles and freed me from glass prisons, and for every phrase that has dressed my soul as I grew, and every sense that has been stimulated by the birth of hope...I am humbled by the opportunity to discover their origins and humbled by the ability to have lived long enough to be able to speak of them." YMC

My Dearest PHAMLI,.

  This piece is comprised of so many pieces that just continue to pour out of my heart in this season.  I have so much to share in this space, but understand that, that is what books are for and I have alot of work to do. :).  In order to live outside of the tombs in our lives that either have been created by others or ourselves, we have to first know that we are ALIVE!  You have to be open to hear, see and receive the voice of Hope, and trust that you won't fall if walking on water is what you have to do sometimes. 

I know that I talk a good game, with the best intention of course, because all that I want to do is be a blessing;  However, what I have discovered is a new way to approach what I say and how I follow suit to do...What I hope that you receive from this piece, is the sense that no matter what you go through and how you feel about yourself while you're going through it, its never about you.  Sometimes what you learn in the tribulations of life will teach you how to continue to live, grow and prosper until you leave this beautiful place. 

As for me, I heard the voice telling me to rise, but didn't necessarily feel like getting up right away to get off where I was buried, because I kept getting infected and affected by the things that were made to keep me company and would sometimes crawl in my tomb and ended up falling asleep. (Get that somebody)  I'm happy to be an imperfect work in progress, because that means that I have the opportunity to flourish in every area of my being. 

And since it takes a village to raise a queen, I must say thank you to God for being so amazing and loving me still, and to the Love of My Life for being wonderful, wanting the best for me, believing in me and being right there in my corner, loving you has truly changed me, to Judah for loving mommy all the time, to mommie doc and battleship for raising me to always desire more and better, to my family for being special, to my friends for calling me special, to my anyone who has added to my life~Thank You, To PHAMLI for supporting my work and keeping it positive.  I appreciate you

Until Next Time

Be Blessed

Belazadu'm

Yahminah McIntosh

Yahminah Mcintosh Copyright 2010

PHILOSOPHY...

...an excerpt from

ZOBEAIT (pronounced so be it)

"For there is no greater feeling than being loved by someone that you love, and being cherished when you have never been, and adored in ways that you have only dreamed, and heard when all your life you've been forced to listen, and taken to places that you've dreamed of and being able to dance and cry tears of joy, no longer alone in the rain and swept off of your feet that have been anchored by the bricks of pain and disappointment again and again, and to no longer be held accountable for the things that you have been forgiven for and grown from.  The truth is that good love is sweet and it is kind and it is GOOD...." YMC (SHUGAH)

The Oaziz Theory

Building a strong and healthy RelationSHIP is not easy, but the rewards are and can be most amazing. In the natural progression of a RelationSHIP there will be bumps that settle in your road paved with dreams, and mountains that seem hard to climb even on your strongest of days. You will also find storms that have strong and peculiar winds that will blow your good intentions right out of your windows.  I believe that anything worth having is worth working for and at.  Do you really think that you can enjoy a cake without putting all of the necessary ingredients in it, not baking it according to directions and serving it to one another without getting sick? You have to check your egos. change the direction of your pride and learn the inner workings of your mate so that you can become a better steward of them.  Anyone who things that roses grow everyday where rocks are thrown, is delusional;  However, it is possible for them to survive when watered on occasion.  The way that you desire to be treated and loved is the way that you should treat and love the person that you call your significant other. 

SELAH (Pause and Calmly Think about that)

What do you do when the Relation in your SHIP is broken? How do you travel to the next Phase if you are having trouble finding a place in which you can meet and be satisfied? What happens when you become frustrated with trying to work on something that you feel you are working on all alone? What do you do when you can't find a common ground of understanding, and every word you speak  comes out wrong or is not received the way you intended? When you are involved in a relation SHIP, how involved do you need to be, in order to get to the place you are comfortable at? What are the pieces and things that bind you and your mate together? Are they things that you are willing to work on and or for? Do you feel that hope has become a fleeting desire?  Do you feel that you can be strong enough to step outside of yourself to love, care about and consider the needs of your mate or would you rather settle for what you consider to be easy?

The Team Challenge
A relation SHIP is a TEAM, made up of two individuals, who have decided to travel down the "Emotional" Highway together. As time goes on, and natural progression begins to settle in, they begin to make decisions to take their relation SHIP to other levels, that are mutually dictated by the two involved. They often are able to get to a place where they make decisions for the betterment of them BOTH, that work for them, not seeking to mimic or imitate any other relation SHIP.

They begin to experience bumps in their road, that are most likely brought on by others, one of them or both of them; And yes then there are those great challenges that they encounter that brings them to a point where they begin to rethink their position in their relation SHIP, and travel to and dissect its core to find out what its really made of. They determine how they move forward, no matter what role if any either of them embraces, they are mindful of one another's needs, desires and concerns. Selfishness has no place, because in the end, it will only temporarily satisfy a void that one thinks that they have, instead of them looking at the whole picture and assess the damage and begin working on the solution. They don't stand still, but move swiftly in their own time TOGETHER!



Talk about it

One of the hardest things to do, is to talk about the problem, especially when you think that there isn't one. No matter what the nature and origin of the issue is, just know that if anything is worth saving, you have to Work it out, Work at it, Repair It, Rebuild it, Resurface it, Plant it, Replant it and Grow it, etc... sometimes you have to get a little dirty and uncomfortable, and in my opinion that is one of the greatest attributes to a long lasting and beautiful relationship...

Open up the positive lines of communication and set out to have an intentional conversation, respect, how one another feels, no matter, how it may sound or come across, trust your partner to be gentle with you in the areas that you need that special care in.




Winners Agree
Its difficult to come up with a game plan to work through difficult things at difficult times, because of the inconspicuous stress and strain that trials can have on a relation SHIP. I find this to be interesting, because when dealing with two individuals at the same time, who are completely different and process information, hurt and circumstances differently, one has to be more open to accept their mate's curves.

I believe that when you make a conscious effort to work through the thickness of your Forest, you will enjoy the flowers that grow in the garden, that are welcoming you on the other side of your trial. Relation SHIPS are about benefits, to one another and yourself, ...

Ask yourself this questions:

WHAT DO I LOSE IF I WIN, AND WHAT DO I WIN IF I LOSE?
Excerpt from "Silent Noise"

...Fear not that elephant knocking
because it stands still,
camouflaging for the enjoyment of some
and exposing the fire of its acting reel
its excruciating sounds of pain, unfound but heard
by those, willing to listen to the directions
on how to get it out of the place where it stirs
closed eyes blurred, loudly counting to 5 without words
and when done, see if those who care to mention,
have been on their q's paying close attention
Flex your muscles of Love's freedom
and open up your lines of communication
make clear your expression
and let how you feel not become an abomination
because when you're waiting
the darkness can grow thick and over take them
time is passing by, so take time, to make time to make sense
because all they knew is that you were, too proud to serenade them...

Yahminah McIntosh Copyright 2010


PHILOSOPHY...
You exchange emotions, through dedicated songs
without knowing if the feelings are mutual
but the need to feel a touch, and hear those words that make you love
get lost in a creation of "Love's ritual"
When your days, start running, one into another
and you become enthralled with their limitations
you separate yourself, as you try to grow closer

and with the time missed and passed you become frustrated
praying, that your bad fades away, and your good is good enough to outweigh it
and that your greatest memories of Love's experiences you had
are strong enough to be recreated
and realistic, views of where you're at
are not too stubborn, to smother hope and overtake it

you whisper positive oxymorons,
filled with emotional rhetoric
as your conversations, grow into discussions, giving birth to arguments
surrounding with the PHEAR, of not knowing if you will make it
not until the next transition in time
but up until the point of where you feel like
you have to PHAKE it

and is the air in the distance between you, clear enough to maintain it
the stakes, they get high
but in the newness of your stages didn't realize
that they would get more complicated with time
but the complexity once again, is only ours to define
and the mere fact that you respect one another, is a sign

that maybe all you need is a sufficient amount of quality time
to fall deep, and get underneath, those places you've worked hard to see,
and come up clean, when you PHIND out what the rhyme is for your reasoning
working through persistent kinks, and appreciating the value of your sacrificial offerings
that you unload to catch your bearings, and make lighter the heart you choose to carry
bringing a brand new understanding to a new beginning
that you accept, when the clock strikes right, because you're tired of spinning
and your mind always knows, how to bring life to your soul
and make new, all that's old, as you claim victory in your heart's chosen battle

Yahminah McIntosh Copyright 2010

 

My Dearest PHAMLI,
I hope that this piece gives you insight into the many layers of the disparities that REAL Relation SHIPS encounter.  I believe that there are good Relation SHIPS that are in trouble for so many reasons, and can be repaired, rebuilt, redeemed, etc...Sometimes they just lack the tools and mediation that are needed to help them navigate through difficult times.  All of my clients will tell you that I am an Optimistic Realist, and support healthy communication, quiet time and prayer. I love to see two people who love each other, walking life's trail way, TOGETHER, making the "DANG" thing work, tilling GREEN GRASS IN THEIR OWN GARDEN AND BEING WATERED WITH LOVE'S DEW THAT SETTLES AFTER THE RAIN.

I believe that our Relation SHIPS are only as strong as our Toughest Link, and since there are two involved, then the retention in the connection should not be broken.  Remember that sowing patience, positivity, love, etc. into your mate takes nothing away from you.  I believe that within Love's Garden Ego's have no place in the inner court, because there is too much at stake.  Take time to spend time with your special person, have involved and intentional conversations as you work through tough times together.  Let not the sun set on your anger or hurt, and remember that good and true love will never come back to you void. I wish you well, I challenge you to grow, take time to think about your mate and WORK THAT THANG OUT! Remember sometimes its not what you see but how you see it.  I encourage each and every one of you to take time out of your busy lives to make your RelationSHIP Work! 

I am Blessed to be able to Embrace the Healthy practices that I speak of, and although WE are not immune to the Challenges of Life, WE find Beauty in the Ordinary things. I Send a wave of Love and Appreciation to my Significant Other and am glad that you have your shovel and cape out walking through life patiently with me, God Bless You!

Until Next Time
Be Well

Belazadu'm

Yahminah McIntosh Copyright 2010

Nice TEA

..It was never in what I would say, but how and how many times that I would say it, as if there were verbal voids to fill, that only my words of sacrifice could satisfy...

Bendable Planets                                                     In the midst of your day, one of the most awesome things that you can do is...PAY ATTENTION, and be intentional about not going broke. (Get that somebody). We move so quickly through our lives, and leap from one moment to the next, as if we own them and are ones that we hold the keys and promises to.  By rushing through life, we accumulate "baggage", you know those things that you wish you could get rid of, when you all of a sudden find a "good cause".  Our hearts become heavier, minds become weighted, intentions confused and outcomes less desirable.  Oftentimes, we begin to over compensate by adding a really nice "Breastplate of Flakiness", or a "Sword of Witchiness", in all we end up becoming someone we don't want to be, then can sometimes spend the rest of our lives trying to find ourselves. We begin to bend and compromise our humanity for the sake of the moment and others just to get by, when we already have all of the tools that we need in order to learn how to COPE, GET BETTER, GROW, SOW AND LIVE.

PerPHect                                                                                       Now if you can't relate,then good for you and GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!  If you keep no living, believe you me, you will have an issue or two that will show its special head in some way, shape or form...I used to be one of those people that was convinced that I was "Issue-less" ohkay!  Honestly, I knew that I had things that I had to deal with, but believed that my dispositions were covered and balanced by my "Over the Top Positive Attitude". 

Well not so much...In this season of my life, I discovered something very interesting about myself..that there was something fundamentally broken, in the spokes of my "Life Cycle".   I constantly apologized (sometimes for things that I didn't do), I'd over "Please & Thank" people, pay more than my share, sacrifice myself so that I could make peace, etc.  It was like I had some kind of deficit and needed to compensate for it.  I also realized that I would take on "Other People's Stuff" and blame myself for it, or find some kind of deep interest that created a cross to carry that wasn't mine.  What a time, what a time. REAL TALK

Off Course     ...I tell you, keeping it real and facing the truth is where TRUE FREEDOM RESIDES.  Oh yes its right there, and if anyone else among the perPHECT people tell you different, then they haven't lived yet.  See what I realized was that somewhere along the beautiful journey in my life, I became a "Glutton for Pain and Punishment", almost running toward it, if you will. It was like I was on fire, and there were buckets of water on my left and a nice forceful breeze on my right, I would look to the left and smile and take off running to the right, then wonder how I would patch me up and try to heal my wounds from the consuming fire.  THANK GOD THAT I WASN'T CONSUMED IN THE FIRE, Amen!

Amen somebody!  When frowns, bad attitudes and heavy spirits would make their way into the lives of some that were around me, I would automatically assume that it had something to do with me, then I would waste time asking questions, like, "what's wrong, are you okay, is everything alright, did I do something, do you want to talk about it, can I help, will you be okay, are you mad, are you sad, etc...". I tell you that was the most tiring thing to do, when I had my own life to live and own growing pains to give attention to.  Now because I had become weakened by the weight of life's Lemons (and didn't think to pick up the Sugar, water and pitcher), I believe that I became an easy mark to be mistreated at times.  Its true what they say about nice people, they are always easy to strengthen so that they can carry the stuff that pains you to carry. Hummmm

Epiphany                                                            So guess what fell out of the tree of life within this season, already?  Some wisdom and a multitude of AHA Moments!  I felt a wave of relief, an internal shift that felt like I just had a chiropractic adjustment.  What I realized is that I had been living with a peculiar self-centered sense of unworthiness ~to some degree.  It's significant that I had this Epiphany at a time in my life, when I am preparing for the Awakening & Ascension of The Most Powerful ME TO DATE, all while I hold my heart, mind and soul in the palm of my diamond grazed hands...This new sense of awareness of myself, forced me to shine a light on my shadowy areas, it was like turning a huge spotlight on myself.  I realized that if I was obsessing about my own feelings, that I was not present and truly engaging with those around me, and would frankly not have the complete affect on them that I had purposed in my heart. Honestly, what I found was that my inability to LET GO and allow everything around me to cease, work itself out, settle, etc...was a disturbing distraction and could ultimately change the course in which I desired to trot.

naKED PHReeDOM                                                                                     I'm grateful for the opportunities that I am granted to learn how to become a better me.  Today, if that instinct to want to take on other people's stuff and blame gets triggered, a mechanism inside of me kicks in and starts playing, "Got to Give it Up" By Marvin Gaye and I get to jooking and shaking that feeling off of me.! (Real Talk).  It's helped me become a better friend, partner, mother, business woman, writer, motivator, counselor and an all around more effective person.  I have learned that its hard to focus on what someone else needs when you're focused on what their problem could mean about you!  I still have to take a deep breath every now and then (Because I am human), and collect myself, and remember that I AM MORE VALUABLE THAN the simple disregard for my feelings and substances.  I no longer live inside of that little gray box, dressed with moss and grapevines, with little cute misplaced emotions, but instead I am present, standing in the open and distributing my care using THE HIGHEST DEGREE OF MY OWN WISDOM.

My Dearest PHAMLI,                                                                                         The writing of this piece was PEACEFUL AND THERAPEUTIC, because the choir took 5 and I decided to sit in their place and tell the pianist to play me in C!  Honestly, with the Newness and Truth of Every moment I am becoming more free than I was the next. I embrace the value in sharing my story, because when you sow the truth into some one's life, it never comes back to you void.  At a time in my life, I honestly believed that my personality was only molded by my environment, but what I failed to realize was that if I took time enough to look at the options that were placed in clear view, I always had a choice. 

I could choose whether to allow what someone else was going through that had nothing to do with me, affect me or I could be who and what I needed to be, and remain a beacon of light.  Although this is only an excerpt of this piece, I pray that you find something within what I've written that you can use.  I honestly feel that people shouldn't speak too much if they don't have anything to say, otherwise they will just birth confusion and waste a lot of time.  I send a spirit of courage, wisdom and peace to all who will receive it and to all of those o don't know that they need it. I pray that you evaluate your interactions with others and make sure that they are healthy.  Until next time, be well, take care of yourself, reach to grab the stars, smile much, take care of your temple, reflect much, pray often, and keep it positive and moving.

Belazadu'm

YMC

May you be strong enough to stand still                                                                       have enough integrity to keep it real

Adjust your vision to be clear

and love yourself enough to release fear